Thursday, December 8, 2011

a beautiful love story

Today started out sucky. Finals week is bitter sweet...I guess. For me, I don't even think there's anything "sweet" about it. First of all, I hate studying. Second, I hate taking tests, I have never been a good test taker. Third, after studying for hours, I (like usual) bombed my final. This is so frustrating. The one thing I want to accomplish this year is graduating, and being DONE with college. I said a prayer before I took my final, but then when I got home I felt angry and frustrated with God, because I could just feel that I didn't do well. Doesn't he want the same hopes and desires as I do? I just want to graduate, that's all I want, and that's all I've been asking for. So I did my routinely quiet time, and I could tell it wasn't even sincere, I was just doing it because it was one of those things I felt like I needed to do. I usually start out with praying to the Lord in my journal, and then I read from my book. After writing in my prayer journal I still felt frustrated with God. I hate feeling that way, because I know that the Lord has much bigger and better plans for me, whether that includes me passing a class or not. When it comes to giving my biggest worries and concerns SINCERELY to God is when I find myself the most selfish. It was until I read from my book that my heart and mind changed immediately. I found myself reading my own love story with Jesus, which like any other woman, melted my heart. 


"Some of you wandered for years in the desert, 
looking but not finding a good place to live,
Half-starved and parched with thirst,
staggering and stumbling on the brink of exhaustion.
Then, in your desperate condition, you called out to God."

"Some of you were locked in a dark cell
cruelly confined behind bars,
Punished for defying Gods Word,
for turning your back on the High God's counsel-
and not a soul in sight to help.
Then you called out to God in your desperate condition;
he got you out in the nick of time.
He led you out of your dark, dark cell,
broke open the jail and let you out.
So thank God for his marvelous love,
for his miracle mercy to the children he loves." 

"Some of you were sick because you'd lived a bad life,
your bodies feeling the effects of your sin;
You couldn't stand the sight of food,
so miserable you thought you'd be better off dead.
Then you called out to God in your desperate condition;
he got you out in the nick of time.
He spoke the word that healed you,
that pulled you back from the brink of death."

My Love Story: 

I felt stuck in a dark place.
I was left; heart broken and lost.
The life I had known, gone; and taken by someone else.
The things I had loved, no longer admired me.
Disciplined for defying God's word,
for turning to a mans love, instead of Gods. 
A hard year, my heart felt permanently damaged. 
Then, after enduring days of heartache, depression and gloom - 
I called to God in my desperate condition;
and he rescued my heart in the nick of time. 

I was laying under a damp blanket of neglection and the act of letting go.
I was under the impression I would never love again.
I couldn't withstand the thought or image of marriage, love, or affection.
My body became ill towards the word "dating."
I was convinced my heart was scarred for life.
Would I ever love again? 
Could I ever forgive?
Will my heart ever feel whole again?
I was under miserable belief that I was not worthy of anyone fighting for my heart. 
But one day, in February,
I was sitting at a Church in San Francisco
And I felt God put his arms around me, and touch my heart.
And he said:
"My love, my child, I am here. Surrender your heart, surrender your brokenness, and I will make it whole again. My love is the only love that is everlasting and can full-fill your needs. I am the healer, and there is no brokenness that I cannot attend to. Let me rescue your heart, I will fight for it for eternity, and one day we will be reunited in a place I like to call, Heaven."

So Praise God, for fighting for my heart when I felt it wasn't worth fighting for.
So Praise God for rescuing me when I was in despair. 
So Praise God for healing wounds, I never thought would go away. 
Praise God, for saving me. 

Every woman dreams of her prince charming running in on a white horse, rescuing her from distress and fighting for her heart. Every woman dreams of writing out her love story. This was mine.

What is yours?

1 comment:

  1. How I stumbled upon PURELY GOD! I'm so honored and humbled to read your words and glimpse into the woman you are - beautiful and worthy! I'm so thankful for your candid honesty here Mel....its blessed me more than mere words can say. <3