Thursday, December 1, 2011

True Identity

Today I took a long walk around the Oregon State Campus. (This may sound Absurd, since this is my 5th year at OSU) But I never realized how beautiful the campus is. Something about walking along the sidewalks in freezing cold weather and no one around really put my mind at peace. It made me appreciate the environment around me; the leaves on the ground, the frost dusted peaceful. One of the unfortunate events that has already happened this morning (Yikes and its only 8:30) is that I set me alarm to wake up at 7:00 to write the rest of my paper for my class that was at 8:00. Silly me, in my mind last night while I was setting my alarm I as under the "assumption" that my class was at 8:30. So it was 7:45 and I am cooking breakfast and it finally dawns on me....Oh my gosh my class starts in 15 minutes and I am still in my pajamas! Frantically throwing my rain jacket on, ugg boots and running out the door, I get to my car and of windshield and windows are frozen. Great. It would take me 20 minutes to walk to class, and my bike has a flat tire.  Life lesson: Don't Procrastinate homework! (I tell myself that every term...somehow I never learn) Ok, so I thought and thought and said a quick prayer because my final paper was due in this class! I thought of a brilliant plan to email my teacher and tell her that I was just going to slip my paper under her door. (Small fun fact about me... I hate walking into classes late - I would rather not go than be that awkward straggler scuffing in 10 minutes after class has started, ugh so embarrassing!)  My teacher emailed back, and said it was fine that I dropped my paper off at her office...phew!

Last night I had the amazing pleasure spending time with some of my best girl friends; Jessica, Chelsea, and Ashlen. This was very much needed! (Dead week and finals have taken over my life!) Something about drinking red wine, watching Christmas movies and the laughter of friends really warms my heart and brings me happiness. I have never been the type of person to enjoy being alone (which should put a twist to things since I am living alone next term). I have always enjoyed being in the presence of family and friends, it brings me so much joy. Jessica (my room mate) and I were talking last night about how nice it is to literally "date" ourselves. Which sounds silly-I know. But most of our lives, her and I have been tied up to boyfriends, sports, sorority,  jobs, etc. For once in both of our lives we are having the pleasure of indulging in ourselves. Taking bubble baths, reading books, taking on new hobbies, catching up with old friends and family, treating ourselves to mani pedi's, its been so great. It is truly amazing how much we have learned about ourselves just being alone and figuring things out by ourselves.

During my routeinely quiet times in the morning I always read from my Jesus Calling Book. I felt that the message today fit so well into what I am experiencing in my life currently:

"Modern man has lost the perspective of eternity. To distract himself from the gaping jaws of death, he engages in ceaseless activity and amusement. The practice of being still in my presence is almost a lost art, yet it is this very stillness that enables you to experience my eternal love. You need the certainty of my loving presence in order to weather the storms of life. During times of severe testing, even the best theology can fail you if it isn't accompanied by experimental knowledge of me. The ultimate protection against sinking during life's storms is devoting time to develop your friendship in me."

How awesome if God? He knows what we are going to ask, before we do. He knows what we need, before we need it. He knows what brings us joy, and he knows what brings us happiness. Having a one on one relationship with him puts things into such a bigger perspective. Living for him, and allowing him to be enough for our daily needs. He full-fills our hopes, dreams and desires. Putting my trust in him is how I have found my true identity. And it is the most beautiful thing; to see God answer prayers you never thought could be answered.

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